Si enfrentas una situación incómoda con un familiar difícil, puedes ignorar los comentarios, pedir respeto con amabilidad, abandonar momentáneamente la sala, o evitar conscientemente temas críticos.

Si enfrentas una situación incómoda con un familiar difícil, puedes ignorar los comentarios, pedir respeto con amabilidad, abandonar momentáneamente la sala, o evitar conscientemente temas críticos.

Pexels

Sé que este puede ser un terreno bastante escabroso para muchísimas personas, pues como dicen por allí: “Hay de todo un poco en la viña del Señor”. Es muy común que existan familias en las que hay dinámicas complicadas, mientras que en otras simplemente hay un lazo poco sano.

Aunque cada caso es individual, y debe ser trabajado de forma particular por un especialista en el tema, me gustaría que habláramos de cómo diferenciar a ese familiar con comentarios entrometidos de aquellos que verdaderamente mantienen un lazo enfermizo, y cómo establecer límites sanos, sin caer en discusiones fútiles.

Seamos sinceros: en todas las familias siempre está ese personaje que hace comentarios inapropiados. Muchos de ellos fueron criados en una época en la que estaba perfectamente permitido socialmente expresarse como un espejo “estás gordo”, “estás flaco”, “te ves mal”. También, tienden a realizar la pregunta entrometida: “¿ya tienes pareja?”, “¿cuándo te casas?”, “¿cuándo vienen los hijos?”, y un largo etcétera.

Por lo general, este tipo de personas solemos encontrarlas en ocasiones familiares, y existen maneras de poder comunicarnos con ellos de manera asertiva, sin que por ello pase a mayores.

Quizás no puedas cambiar el humor sexista de tu tío abuelo, pero sí que puedes enfrentar una situación incómoda en ese sentido: ignorar los comentarios, pedir respeto con amabilidad, abandonar momentáneamente la sala, o evitar conscientemente temas críticos.

Por el contrario, cuando las actuaciones de un familiar hacia ti afectan tu autoestima constantemente desde que tienes memoria, o desde hace varios años, entonces allí sí que hay una relación enfermiza, porque por lo general, se sustentan en un desequilibrio entre las partes.

Incluso, puede que la otra persona no sea verdaderamente consciente del sufrimiento que nos produce. Es allí cuando es necesario aprender a crear límites para proteger nuestra autoestima. Pero, aunque la distancia física suene como la barrera más fácil, esta no siempre es posible.

¿Qué hacer entonces para esquivar los ataques? En el caso de las relaciones enfermizas, deberás hacer un profundo trabajo personal con ayuda profesional, pero en las dinámicas complicadas, lo esencial es hacer el ejercicio de no tomarse esa clase de comentarios a modo personal.

Quítales ese poder sobre ti. Ten presente que lo que digan dice más de ellos, que de quien verdaderamente eres tú.

Empresario y emprendedor social. Autor de ocho bestsellers en temas de liderazgo, emprendimiento y desarrollo personal, incluyendo “El poder de escuchar” y “Despierta con Cala”. Es presidente y fundador de Cala Enterprises Corporation y de la Fundación Ismael Cala. Twitter: @cala. Instagram: ismaelcala. Facebook: Ismael Cala. www.IsmaelCala.com.

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